Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
