awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
