Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm both gender and math confused
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
