Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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