okay pat passed out under dana's car
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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