Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
