last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
