You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
