Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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