Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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