I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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