she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
