and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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