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It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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