lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
