8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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