I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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