Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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