Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize