I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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