She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
