My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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