I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
