I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
