My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
