I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
