i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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