I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
True college students do jello shots in the library
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