your thong is hanging out like whoa
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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