no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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