on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
