You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
