well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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