help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
