Swine flu. Run for my life!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize