At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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