i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
