remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Don't EVER smell your tampon
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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