A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
