There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.