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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"

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• (707): View more from California

  I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

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• (714): View more from California

  So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.

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