question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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