i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
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Sober January is a disaster.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit