yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things