I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
