his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I have post one night stand depression
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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