addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
