I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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