just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
