You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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