I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
40s are totally the cure
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
