Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
