you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
