wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Text me some of your sweat
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
