your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
