8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
