I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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