I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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