I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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