So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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