i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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