Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
