your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
