After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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