Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
