She's JV to your varsity
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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