My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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