I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
