Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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