its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
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I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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