i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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