No awkward lesbian experiences without me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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