so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
